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Camp Marque…the beginning! Camp Marque is a light hearted, off the cuff, and a sometimes shallow institution created by campers for campers.
I still need to put my finger on what is the actual attraction of camping – it’s not the cost, I’ve spent shit loads! It’s not the weather, enough said – UK anyway! Meeting people? I suppose it depends on the time of day and how good the toilets are. Getting away from it all?? Depends again on which path you take – some well trodden National Parks can rival the foot fall of Meadow Hall! “Morning, morning, alright, hello, hi, morning, nice day, hiya, worth it when you get there” and the other small talk you do in the countryside but never in the street back home. Imagine, on the way to Asda saying “good morning” to some ‘jogging pant clad rock ape’…..“furoff” – that’s the response you’d get in my suburbia!!
If I’m honest the thing I like most is the planning and the choices that have to be made. The first planning is where and when? Which site? Do we need to book? Who’s going? How many tents? How many nights? But choices can also mean compromises, i.e. somewhere close but crap or somewhere further away but good (pub nearby, level site, good toilets, etc.). And depending on the party composition - somewhere quiet or noisy, riverside view maybe? And then what sort of camp?? A one night quick camp – no cooking, no cool box, no bikes, no walking gear, no chair, just go – tent up, sleep mat down, sleeping bag out, zip up and down the pub to drink, then ask what time they do food till and carry on drinking (chatting I will cover later), then order food three minutes before the kitchen closes, drink more, wobble back to tent, unzip tent, zip up sleeping bag and try to get some sleep, wake up, unzip and walk trying not to open eyes too much and wake up too much, zip up again, try to get some more sleep, unzip, unzip tent, zip up, you get the message! Wake up, pack up, go home wishing you’d taken a few more creature comforts. Camping is eating, drinking, sleeping and lots of other stuff with a liberal sprinkling of ZIPS!!!
Then there’s the two night camp which involves more stuff, perhaps a pillow, a chair, a stove for hot drinks, a kettle, a water carrier, a torch, alcohol for before the pub – a full list can be found further into this site, you just need to decide what and how much!
The three nighter or more requires loads more planning and loads more stuff, and asking the questions like “?” Two nights/days can be spent pubbing with the odd walk but a week doing that? F**k that! After a walk one of the party always has an ailment and walks no more! A good night of ale followed by a camp sleep (that’s a crap nights sleep not the other camp!!), followed by another good night of ale and a not quite as bad nights sleep, renders even the most hardened rufty tufty commandos knackered and in need of other vices. Like shopping for instance, camp shopping that is (and not that camp!), Check out all the camp shops in Ambleside, you could buy loads of stuff and might even use some of it! Also local attractions, beaches or castle, if convenient. Damming (more of that later too!), biking, boating, kiting, in fact most things ending in ing apart from zip….So plan what you’re gonna do and then pack accordingly.
Choices or compromises, chair or floor, table or knee, torch or dark, battery lamp or gas lamp, paraffin burning fuel is nicer than batteries but not so easy or safe. Cooker or pub or cold food, little stove or two ring burner with grill and a big f**k off cylinder, DVD player or playing cards, stand up tent or 2 second tent, big quilt or mummy bag, camp pans (you should be getting the drift by now) or proper home pans, wind break or drafty, proper food or tinned breakfast, dried milk or wet, warm coat or sit in the car, tinnies or port, air bed or sleep mat or the floor or underlay! Gazebo or brolly, mallet or rock, cool box or pub, head torch or headlights, first aid kit or gaffa tape, toothpaste or mints, toiletries or one-man tent………..I could go on more but these choices make every camp different and that’s good in my book, this is what makes camping alright!
TJ Walker |
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